This is going to be a long post...bits of it were written a long time ago and I just never posted it, but today marks the 3rd anniversary of my grandpa's passing, so I'm adding more to it and posting it today. After my Pap-Pap died in 2011, when I got home, I wished I had kept a journal during the weeks leading up to his passing, but I hadn't. We were there for a whole month before he died. So I tried to recollect everything that happened day by day, and I wrote down some other memories. This man was so special to me...he was the strongest man I've ever known, and I miss him dearly. I'm just writing this post to compile my most special thoughts and memories about him.
One of the coolest things about our Palumbo family is our Italian heritage, which came through Pap-Pap. We have all taken huge pride in our Italian heritage and the things that come with it, like our love for Italian food for instance. I absolutely LOVE a good Italian cold cut. One of my favorite memories is arriving in Maryland for a visit and having Italian cold cuts for lunch that day, because Pap-Pap had gone to the Italian deli and gotten food to prepare for our visit. He would always get fontinella cheese, olives, pepperoni, and wine. Whenever Grandma and Pap-Pap would visit, they would always bring a cooler with all of the deli goodies. That was always so much fun to break out as soon as we got home from picking them up at the airport. Now we go to the deli every time we are up there, but it just isn't the same without him there.
Another Italian aspect of our family is our value and love for our family. After God, family was the most important thing to Pap-Pap. He and my grandmother had six children, and 26 grandchildren, and 25 & counting great-grandchildren. His family was his most prized possession, and he loved my grandma with all his heart. Living in Texas has always been hard for me, because we always miss family gatherings which are always so important and special to us all. Almost every holiday, everyone always gathers at either my grandparents or else my Uncle Mark's house. Most of my cousins are married and have kids of their own, so every get together is always huge, and it's a blast. My two favorite family gatherings are whenever we go in the summer and have crab feasts at Uncle Mark's, and on Thanksgiving years when Uncle Mark hosts and we do the Turkey Bowl.
When I was younger, I was always disappointed that I couldn't be full-blooded Italian, and that I am only a quarter. But my mom always says "if you're any Italian, you're all Italian." Because I love Italians so much and because of Pap-Pap, I have a great desire to learn the Italian language. I have taken three years of it, and I am not as far as I should be in it but I have loved learning it and I was thrilled when I got to go to Sicily and even meet some of my relatives. But I was, and still am, sad that Pap-Pap was gone and I couldn't talk to him about my experience. That is very hard for me. But it was so wonderful for me to go and get to experience the Italian culture first-hand.
Pap-Pap was the strongest man I have ever known. His personality was unwavering, and so strong-willed. He always knew what he thought about something, and nothing you could ever say would ever change his opinion. Not only was his personality strong, but he was an actual "tough guy!" He was a Merchant Marine and a boxer in his young years. We all grew up hearing stories about Pap-Pap and what he did to that one guy who did such and such... And whenever we would play cards and someone would miss-deal the cards or forget to cut the deck, he would always say "where I used to play cards, people would get their arm cut off for that." and we always wondered if he was the one doing it ;) There are endless stories about how tough my Pap-Pap was...needless to say, no one would have wanted to mess with him. But more about his strength later.
One thing that was very hard for me was when Grandma and Pap-Pap moved out of their Bowie house. They lived there for over 40 years, and every single aunt, uncle, in-law, grandchild, and even great-grandchild all made countless memories in that house. I still am sad about it even though it was 7-8 years ago. That house had the most specific smell that regenerates so many memories! It is being rented right now, but in between renters, we sometimes go inside the house and the smell is still there. So many memories of playing with cousins in every different room, family gatherings, eating cocoa puffs every morning for breakfast (which still happens :), picking vegetables from the garden with Pap-Pap, etc.
I have several memories with Pap-Pap specifically... I know that he played cards with most of his grandchildren, but it was specifically special to him and me. He taught me how to play spades, rummy, and kill your neighbor. Every single visit we had, in Texas or in Maryland, was spent playing cards 100% of the time. And any time I ever walked by him, he would block me with his arm and not let me pass until I gave him a kiss. I miss holding his hands and him squeezing them so tightly. I miss him saying regularly, "Boy, you sure are spoiled" and even him calling me "capadosta" or "testadura," which are both Italian words for hard-headed.
In October of 2009, Pap-Pap went in for a procedure to have a stint put in, to unblock his arteries. But it failed, and his arteries ended up getting blocked even further. We thought he was going to die right then, but Pap-Pap being Pap-Pap, and because of his strength, he of course pulled through. From then on, his health just gradually declined. But I feel so blessed, because a few years before this and especially afterwards, my mom made several trips to Maryland to visit and be with my grandparents, and I always got to go with her. I feel so blessed to have had such special time with Pap-Pap, especially since he died when I was fairly young, and all my other cousins and siblings had more time with him.
About a year or so later on February 21st, 2011, we got a call that Pap-Pap was in the hospital because of kidney failure (partly caused by the congestive heart failure, among other things), and that there really wasn't much the doctors could do. We were told we should come up as soon as we could. So that very next day, we left to go be with him. They were releasing him from the hospital, advising that we get a hospice service, saying that he only had 3-4 days left to live. 3 days? pshhhh. Try 3 weeks.
Pap-Pap decided he wasn't quite ready to leave this world, and stayed here another 3 weeks before the Lord took him up. Those 3 weeks were some of the most special moments of my life. Each day got harder and harder, but I wouldn't have traded them for the world. Every single day, from February 22nd to March 12th, we had a bazillion family members coming to see Pap-Pap. One of his last wishes was to see every grandchild (all 26 of them) before he passed. And indeed he did. Grandchildren came from Hawaii, Texas, Florida, Pennsylvania, Oregon, Washington state, and Virginia all the way to Maryland to see him. And most of them were able to return and make the trip again for the funeral. Every single night was a party...at times it was sad, but we were all celebrating his life and recounting old stories and catching up with cousins we hadn't seen in a long time, and each having our own special moments with Pap-Pap. During that time, no one remembers ever cooking a meal, because so many people would bring us food that would last for days. All through that time, even when things would get worse and worse, his strength was still so evident...physical strength and his strong will. We can't forget about his strong will... :)
There were also several friends who came to visit him in that time as well. There were men who came to see him who Pap-Pap had coached baseball to at least 40 years ago. His strength, his love and devotion to his family, and his love for the Lord made such a huge impact on everyone who knew him. To this day, I hear my older cousins with kids of their own talk about how Pap-Pap has been a model for them in how to raise and parent their children.
There were so many funny stories that happened during that time...some too long to tell, and others not appropriate... ;) but while it was a very hard time for everyone, it was one of the best times for everyone. The whole family was there, going through the same thing, and helping each other through it. Pap-Pap is missed more than he could ever know, but I know that he is probably beating Jesus at Pinochle or Spades right now. ;) He will forever hold a special place in my heart.
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